Here we go again

Freaking hell.

I don't need someone to tell me I'm perfect. Because I'm not. Please. No one is. Don't put these labels and pressures and expectations on me. I'm a human being. Like you. Like everyone else. No more, no less.

I don't need freaking flattery or compliments that are loaded with underlying meaning. I know you mean well, trying to boost my self-esteem or whatever, and I'm grateful for it. But seriously, my self-esteem is perfectly intact. The last thing I want to become is some self-absorbed, obnoxious little brat. And I'm nowhere near to having no confidence in myself. So seriously, just stop.

I just need someone who will listen to me rant, tell me stories, be there for me, ask me questions, answer my questions, share opinions. Someone to do life with, to accept me as me.

Enough with the stupidstupid comparisons. I'm begging you. It's pointless and tears at one's morale until it's bloodied and ripped into red ribbons. We are separate. Different people with our own individual qualities and flaws. You can't compare the breathtaking beauty of a sunset with the intricate beauty of patterns on butterfly wings. Each has its unique charm. You are red; fire and passion and inspiration, and I am blue. So can't we move past this petty insanity?

I hate this. Now I feel like I can't be myself anymore. You were, are, my closest friend and if I can't be myself around you, what do I have left? Perhaps you don't need me as much as I need you because you're very good at getting close to people. At building solid relationships. You have good friends around you, and you deserve that. To have people you can rely on, people you can call up whenever and talk for hours on end. It's something I have yet to learn to do; still stumbling along, trying to get it right. You're the only person that kind of (when you remove all distorted conceptions that arise from friendly, sometimes not so friendly, sisterly competitiveness), gets me. But hey, if this is really getting too hard. It's fine. I'll find someone else or make do on my own.

I won't stay where I'm not wanted. I get it. I understand. No hard feelings or whatever.

Okay bye.

Oh gosh. This is like Frozen.

Sincerely, from the bottom of my heart,
Your little sister.