Drum beats of the heart

I woke up with an implacable feeling.

It had the vagueness of watercolours, melded together in a almost-but-not-quite-ugly blend of hues. No, not necessarily a negative emotion; not sadness but rather melancholic. And yet there was a tinge of contentment.

Eyes still closed, hand subconsciously lifted and placed onto chest. Amongst the muffled lub-dubs of the heart, it hit me.This apple-sized organ and its constant, steady pulse was single-handedly keeping my entire being, well, being. If it stopped, even for a moment, I would cease to be.  This disconcerting realization brought about a flutter of an almost-fear of dying coupled with a sudden burst of aliveness.

Breathe in. Body stirs. I'm alive. Living, not dead.

Dear heart,
thanks for beating.

Sentimentality

You know,

I kind of love my friends. Haha. Idk. Each of them are so very uniquely special. We're such an odd collection of personalities; opposites in some aspects and twins in others. They've become a part of me, and who I am. I'm pretty sure I'd be a very different person if I hadn't met any one of them. Our likes and dislikes, belief and value systems are so different. Sure, once in a while I might wish I had people around me who shared my thoughts and understood some of where I'm coming from, but no. I wouldn't change them for the world. We have such stimulating, hilarious, thoughtful, ridiculous conversations. Besides, they challenge me to think for myself and force me to find a solid basis for my beliefs because they'll attack *ehem* gently question any vulnerable areas of my logic. Heated discussions or friendly debates are enjoyable once you learn not to get easily offended. Besides, it's a fair trade. I listen to their opinion and they listen (mostly-ish) to mine. ahha. Not that I think I'll ever be able convince them of anything... They are rather stubborn strong-minded. :P Lovely, interesting, passionate, caring people, you know who you are. And I'd just like to say a thank you, for being you and letting me be me. 

Ha. Oh gosh. Sentimental overload. 

So this lunchtime, we spent, sorry, I meant they spent, invading my privacy and reading through all my texts and going through my contact list and skype messages and laughing at my fascinating conversations. Just because I wanted to share my um. happiness when I found out I got my. ehem. period. LOL. okay. I think I just broke some kind of taboo about not saying that word on the internet. Oh well. But yeah. Idk what I was so happy about, it's kinda really gross. -.- Oh and they pretended to be me when talking to Trevor, Isabel's friend. Entertaining. ahha

"me":

 it's erica now

i'm a lesbian

but for you it's an exception

babe

boa bei

bao

Trevor:

Erica was totally hacked.

"me":

Omg I don't want us to end. Plz talk to me. i'm desperate. D:

Trevor:

I'm gay...

:/

Enough said

I think you should return Erica' phone.

Hahhaa.

Aren't my friends the most creative people in the world?

Yes. I'm very lucky. I don't know what I ever did to deserve so much. Not just my own friendship group, but quirky siblings and not-overly-pressurizing parents, a fantastic education, church friends. 

Why so sentimental? D:

Me

To fall in love.

Precious darling, most dear.

You who truly understands me, who knows of my deepest desires and my assortment of flaws.
You who can read my mind, my mannerisms, my smile.

We'd share our fears and doubts and insecurities. All dissipate under a blanket of comforting lullabies. We sing till we're soothed to a contented sleep.

Gravity, I need you here to ground me; else I'll become no more than intangible fragments of characters in a film.
Air, I need you here to refresh me; else I'll suffocate.
Sight, I need you here to bring things into focus. A life in blur really shouldn't be considered life at all.

In scalding heat when the sun turns it's fiercest gaze onto earth; or in chilly darkness when the world is plunged in eerie silence, I'll call you and we'll talk de tout et de rien. Of everything and nothing. And the ticktocks of the clock will cease for we will be captivated, saturated in each other. in love.

My person.

With you, I'm at untarnished ease.

So where are you?

Ohh gosh. I ought to stop watching romantic movies. D: