Yesterday,
Was a day of note. 'Twas the first day I wagged a whole day of school. Oh such a rebel am I. Bahhaa. Although, is it really considered wagging if your parents know and agreed? I don't know what I did to deserve such cool parents. :P But yes, I skipped/ponteng-ed to go to China Bar for lunch for Calistha's birthday. Daniel plus one-d me because I've always wanted to go eat there. Viv and Isabel have been all "as if you've never been to China Bar." But dude, it actually wasn't all that great. The only perks were the chicken pie, egg tarts and many desserts. I still have way to much sugar in my system. Heeeeeeee.
It was an... interesting experience. Haha. Ben was telling me how WCC kids liked girls from outside of school and they became the centre of attention for a while. He was like "take advantage of it and get him to buy you stuff. And act dumb." Ha. No thanks. It was so silly though. William (first impression: confident, easy to talk to, social butterfly with lots of girl friends) kept trying to get me to talk to Daniel. The whole thing made me want to roll my eyes and sigh at the silliness of it. People don't seem to understand the concept of 'just friends'. Meh. At least I had Chris, Dong, Melody, Ben and Kim to avoid what could have been extremely awkward. And I hate awkward moments. OH made a new Malaysian friend, Andrew, who captured a blackmail-worthy photo of me. Damn.
And what is it with the world and not liking people because they're too nice?!
Then we went to watch Skyfall. Honestly, the movie had no wow factor. It was rather average. But I did like the great big explosions and mushroom fires at the end. :)
Oh. my. gosh. Watching Community Season 2 Episode 14 and I feel like flipping punching Pierce in the face. And whacking him with a baseball bat. Freaking heartless jerk. UGH.
Anywho,
Me.
Friday, November 23, 2012
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Keeping up Appearances
Okay.
Who am I kidding? I'm just as shallow as the next person. I wish I was one of those rarities that don't care about keeping up outer appearances. Those amazing people that genuinely judge a person's worth by who they are. These are also the ones who feel completely comfortable in their own skin, no matter what type it may be. sogjsdofaposfaipfhsdgreioguef. Instead, I wish I was prettier, without my flat nose, disproportionate body, annoying chin, non-luscious hair, stubby fingers and so on. No wait. I wish I was the type of person that didn't give a damn.
Oh and what's the point of maintaining the 'nice' act when I'm actually real mean, selfish, stingy, inflexible, harsh, jealous, calculative, manipulative... I think you get the picture.
An example? I want something purely because someone else has it. I want something that I know won't happen. I want it in spite of the fact that it involves a road of hurt. What is wrong with me? Or is it just in human nature to want what we can't have?
Well. At least my brain is stopping me from acting stupidly in pursuit of such senseless wants.
Although sometimes I do wish I was more impulsive. Heh. Then more things happen. Drama is rather fun if you somehow emotionally distance yourself from the fascinating scenes that unfold. Ha. Like that's possible.
Meh,
Me
PS: An ingenious tumblr quote: "Great minds like a think." Hee. Person who came up with that is witty.
Who am I kidding? I'm just as shallow as the next person. I wish I was one of those rarities that don't care about keeping up outer appearances. Those amazing people that genuinely judge a person's worth by who they are. These are also the ones who feel completely comfortable in their own skin, no matter what type it may be. sogjsdofaposfaipfhsdgreioguef. Instead, I wish I was prettier, without my flat nose, disproportionate body, annoying chin, non-luscious hair, stubby fingers and so on. No wait. I wish I was the type of person that didn't give a damn.
Oh and what's the point of maintaining the 'nice' act when I'm actually real mean, selfish, stingy, inflexible, harsh, jealous, calculative, manipulative... I think you get the picture.
An example? I want something purely because someone else has it. I want something that I know won't happen. I want it in spite of the fact that it involves a road of hurt. What is wrong with me? Or is it just in human nature to want what we can't have?
Well. At least my brain is stopping me from acting stupidly in pursuit of such senseless wants.
Although sometimes I do wish I was more impulsive. Heh. Then more things happen. Drama is rather fun if you somehow emotionally distance yourself from the fascinating scenes that unfold. Ha. Like that's possible.
Meh,
Me
PS: An ingenious tumblr quote: "Great minds like a think." Hee. Person who came up with that is witty.
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Mean over Nice
I've been thinking,
I think I like mean people better. It's sounds weird, but think about it. With mean people, you know they're going to be mean. You harden your heart and prepare yourself. So you don't get offended or hurt. Because you're expecting it. And when they do something nice, it's a pleasant surprise. Because you know that they are putting effort into the relationship. They're going against their nature to be thoughtful, considerate, comforting for you. That's when you know they really care.
On the other hand, you never know with nice people. They'll be oh-so friendly one moment, but then before you realize it, they're gone and there's this empty space left behind. They aren't ever mean. But the feeling of their abrupt absence in your life is like losing a favourite pen; silly, irrational but frustrating. It creates an inconsequential gap between periods of time, a hole in your thoughts, a drop in the daily number of smiles. Sure, you can live without them just fine. But there's a niggling sense that something slipped away.
Over time, you move on.You forget. You get used to it. You find other things to do, to think about, to smile at. But once in a while, you miss it. That extra little thing that made your life the slightest bit happier.
Plus with nice people, they're nice to everyone. So really, what makes you so special? Nothing. You're just another one of many. Oh and with nice people, if they aren't nice to you, the indifference feels equally as bad as, (or worse than) if a mean person was being mean.
If a mean person's mean to you, it's nothing personal. That's just who they are.
Food for thought. ha.
Erica
PS: I should try being mean sometime. Not that I'm all that nice anyway. But yeah. lol.
I think I like mean people better. It's sounds weird, but think about it. With mean people, you know they're going to be mean. You harden your heart and prepare yourself. So you don't get offended or hurt. Because you're expecting it. And when they do something nice, it's a pleasant surprise. Because you know that they are putting effort into the relationship. They're going against their nature to be thoughtful, considerate, comforting for you. That's when you know they really care.
On the other hand, you never know with nice people. They'll be oh-so friendly one moment, but then before you realize it, they're gone and there's this empty space left behind. They aren't ever mean. But the feeling of their abrupt absence in your life is like losing a favourite pen; silly, irrational but frustrating. It creates an inconsequential gap between periods of time, a hole in your thoughts, a drop in the daily number of smiles. Sure, you can live without them just fine. But there's a niggling sense that something slipped away.
Over time, you move on.
Plus with nice people, they're nice to everyone. So really, what makes you so special? Nothing. You're just another one of many. Oh and with nice people, if they aren't nice to you, the indifference feels equally as bad as, (or worse than) if a mean person was being mean.
If a mean person's mean to you, it's nothing personal. That's just who they are.
Food for thought. ha.
Erica
PS: I should try being mean sometime. Not that I'm all that nice anyway. But yeah. lol.
Friday, November 9, 2012
Numerical Freedom
And so,
It's overrrrr. TEEHEE. It was horrible, by the way. Especially Paper 2, which had 5 questions (when there are usually 4), was time-pressingly, mind-stressingly HARD. And I couldn't answer some big 4 mark question. Sigh.
So immediately following the exam, I felt weird. I was devastated because of how badly it had gone and yet, there was this urge to burst into maniacal giggle fits. I wasn't between tears and laughter, more like I was leaping from one extreme to the other; crying one second and laughing the next. And back again. It was bizarre. I imagine I would've looked like a rather odd sight; with my eyebrows furrowed and my lips pulled in a wide, toothy grin.
So what if I'm expecting a 35? It's not the end of the world, right? I'll just find a dentist husband (who's thoughtful, like-minded, understanding etcetc of course) and who needs a flipping high 40? I'm still on a high because I'm methods freeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Which is probably why I'm so optimistic and cheery.
Yesterday, even though I had an English and Chem exam, there was still this sense of elation. I didn't care. It just didn't feel important. Sure I wasn't as prepared because I couldn't bring myself to do much study after Paper 2, BUT I wasn't stressed at all. It was kinda fun, quoting Macbeth quotes with all my friends and cramming last minute chem questions. Oh and I came up with the most ingenious phrase when I was in the "english" zone. Here it goes...
"I'm winging my exam, so that I can pass it with flying colours."
ahhahahhaa. Yes. Everyone was laughing and eye-rolling at my lameness. But I did feel quite witty. If I do say so myself. I think I thrive on non-maths. I'm a less snappy, more friendly, generally much more pleasant person to be with.
OH I'm gonna do shout outs to an imaginary audience. Because I do things like that. heh.
To Isabel:
Wishing you all the luck and intelligence and knowledge and statistics and analyticalness of the world for your Geography exam next Friday. You'll do fine. Don't stress. But on the extreme unlikelihood that you don't do well (which you won't (not do well, that is)), it's not the end of the world. It really isn't. I'm living, breathing proof. :)
To Vicky:
Dude. I don't even need to wish you good luck for music because you're so musically talented. Honestly. But yes, you shall do wonderfully in your music exam. If you don't, then the examiner clearly has to eye for musicalness. :P
To Jessie:
Jia you for Chink! Not that you need it either because you really are Chinese through and through. Plus you have worked awfully hard for it. I'm glad I'm not doing it because I'd have to compete with you. haha.
To Viv:
You aren't even doing any 3/4... pssh. so not fair. BUT yes I press my thumb down to you for all your Year 11 exams, especially for French on Friday because both of us haven't learnt very much French this year, have we? ><
Savouring the gleefulness while it lasts,
Erica
It's overrrrr. TEEHEE. It was horrible, by the way. Especially Paper 2, which had 5 questions (when there are usually 4), was time-pressingly, mind-stressingly HARD. And I couldn't answer some big 4 mark question. Sigh.
So immediately following the exam, I felt weird. I was devastated because of how badly it had gone and yet, there was this urge to burst into maniacal giggle fits. I wasn't between tears and laughter, more like I was leaping from one extreme to the other; crying one second and laughing the next. And back again. It was bizarre. I imagine I would've looked like a rather odd sight; with my eyebrows furrowed and my lips pulled in a wide, toothy grin.
So what if I'm expecting a 35? It's not the end of the world, right? I'll just find a dentist husband (who's thoughtful, like-minded, understanding etcetc of course) and who needs a flipping high 40? I'm still on a high because I'm methods freeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Which is probably why I'm so optimistic and cheery.
Yesterday, even though I had an English and Chem exam, there was still this sense of elation. I didn't care. It just didn't feel important. Sure I wasn't as prepared because I couldn't bring myself to do much study after Paper 2, BUT I wasn't stressed at all. It was kinda fun, quoting Macbeth quotes with all my friends and cramming last minute chem questions. Oh and I came up with the most ingenious phrase when I was in the "english" zone. Here it goes...
"I'm winging my exam, so that I can pass it with flying colours."
ahhahahhaa. Yes. Everyone was laughing and eye-rolling at my lameness. But I did feel quite witty. If I do say so myself. I think I thrive on non-maths. I'm a less snappy, more friendly, generally much more pleasant person to be with.
OH I'm gonna do shout outs to an imaginary audience. Because I do things like that. heh.
To Isabel:
Wishing you all the luck and intelligence and knowledge and statistics and analyticalness of the world for your Geography exam next Friday. You'll do fine. Don't stress. But on the extreme unlikelihood that you don't do well (which you won't (not do well, that is)), it's not the end of the world. It really isn't. I'm living, breathing proof. :)
To Vicky:
Dude. I don't even need to wish you good luck for music because you're so musically talented. Honestly. But yes, you shall do wonderfully in your music exam. If you don't, then the examiner clearly has to eye for musicalness. :P
To Jessie:
Jia you for Chink! Not that you need it either because you really are Chinese through and through. Plus you have worked awfully hard for it. I'm glad I'm not doing it because I'd have to compete with you. haha.
To Viv:
You aren't even doing any 3/4... pssh. so not fair. BUT yes I press my thumb down to you for all your Year 11 exams, especially for French on Friday because both of us haven't learnt very much French this year, have we? ><
Savouring the gleefulness while it lasts,
Erica
Saturday, November 3, 2012
METHODS EXAM D:
Right.
In three days, I'll be sitting my methods 3&4 exam. Oh gosh. I know it's not the end of the world if I don't do well, but it'll feel like such a huge complete waste of all that time spent on studying and studying and studying. I know I haven't done as much as some, but still. And everyone seems to think I'm smarter, more hard-working, more disciplined than I actually am.
sigfspodghspiifgoaka. I feel like I'm getting worse with each paper.
STOP. Okay. Stopping with the negativeness. I'll jinx it. lol.
But yes, here's to the me after sitting for Paper 1 and 2 of the exam. Have some perspective. Don't get depressed even if you do horribly.
Oh who am I kidding. I'm going to be so very extremely upset if I don't get above a 40. But I don't know if I'm even capable of a 35. Gah. You get so much contradicting information, you really don't know what to expect. Well whatever score I get, I'll have tried my best. Because it isn't mentally possible (for me anyway) to do any more than I have. I think Or I'll turn my brain into complete mush and stress even more and have everything fly out of my head during the actual exam.
STOP. Gosh. I really am going to jinx myself.
But it's going to be awfully embarrassing if I do really badly when everyone thinks I'm going to pass with flying colours.
Sigh. Everyone should just not have any expectations. Myself included.
Keep calm and don't panic.
Hah. Sure.
Erica
In three days, I'll be sitting my methods 3&4 exam. Oh gosh. I know it's not the end of the world if I don't do well, but it'll feel like such a huge complete waste of all that time spent on studying and studying and studying. I know I haven't done as much as some, but still. And everyone seems to think I'm smarter, more hard-working, more disciplined than I actually am.
sigfspodghspiifgoaka. I feel like I'm getting worse with each paper.
STOP. Okay. Stopping with the negativeness. I'll jinx it. lol.
But yes, here's to the me after sitting for Paper 1 and 2 of the exam. Have some perspective. Don't get depressed even if you do horribly.
Oh who am I kidding. I'm going to be so very extremely upset if I don't get above a 40. But I don't know if I'm even capable of a 35. Gah. You get so much contradicting information, you really don't know what to expect. Well whatever score I get, I'll have tried my best. Because it isn't mentally possible (for me anyway) to do any more than I have. I think Or I'll turn my brain into complete mush and stress even more and have everything fly out of my head during the actual exam.
STOP. Gosh. I really am going to jinx myself.
But it's going to be awfully embarrassing if I do really badly when everyone thinks I'm going to pass with flying colours.
Sigh. Everyone should just not have any expectations. Myself included.
Keep calm and don't panic.
Hah. Sure.
Erica
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