Why hello, dear friend.
Apologies for neglecting you this year. I've just been overwhelmed with, well, life and the commitments, responsibilities and confusion it brings. Besides, it's been rather monotonous anyway. Same thing day after day, week after week of studyingstudyingstudying.
Bits and pieces of drama and mixed emotions that came with the final days of high school. Cried when I wasn't supposed to, the rose-tinted glasses through which I viewed my friendships were pulled off and smashed on the ground (I was expecting it though), a message at Epic that hit home...
But there was also laughter and fun, good memories and pleasant surprises. Moments of connection and understanding. Superhero day and Valedictory were definitely highlights.
And oh, all the best wishes, good lucks and prayers before my EAL exam. I feel extremely fortunate to have such supportive and thoughtful people around me. How. How can I ever complain? Ever? Man I'm far too spoilt. Need to give more. Givegivegive.
2 down, 3 to go. It hasn't been disastrous so far. Let's take that as a good sign.
Mechanically going through past papers.
I feel like a robot.
Me
Thursday, October 31, 2013
Saturday, October 5, 2013
Always on the move
What am I doing?
Idk. Idk what I'm doing. I'm not thinking, just doing. Doing, doing, doing. Acting. Moving. Advancing, hopefully.
My mind is always occupied, never idle.
Because if I stopped, I'd be overwhelmed. I'd get lost in the fog of my thoughts. Because it is a fog. Everything's blurred, confusing and I can't see very far into the future. I don't know what's up ahead.
Which is why I'm propelling myself forward, determined to embrace the unknown.
Because if I paused to think, the fear and apprehension might just freeze my feet and I'd be stuck for who knows how long.
Green lights all the way. I'm good to go. Whatever the future throws at me, I'll catch it or duck or get smacked in the face. I'll deal with it as it comes.
I'll cope.
Me
Idk. Idk what I'm doing. I'm not thinking, just doing. Doing, doing, doing. Acting. Moving. Advancing, hopefully.
My mind is always occupied, never idle.
Because if I stopped, I'd be overwhelmed. I'd get lost in the fog of my thoughts. Because it is a fog. Everything's blurred, confusing and I can't see very far into the future. I don't know what's up ahead.
Which is why I'm propelling myself forward, determined to embrace the unknown.
Because if I paused to think, the fear and apprehension might just freeze my feet and I'd be stuck for who knows how long.
Green lights all the way. I'm good to go. Whatever the future throws at me, I'll catch it or duck or get smacked in the face. I'll deal with it as it comes.
I'll cope.
Me
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
Petty Rivalry
No.
Competitive spirit. Petty rivalry. Be gone with you. Go away. Far, far away.
You shall not rule me with your dirty jealousies and slithering wishes of woe.
You are irrational and stupid and you bring nothing but niggling feelings of discontentment. I will purge myself, scrub my body, soul and mind of your filth. I will scrape off every part of that envious slime.
I will not harbour any cloaked hopes of the other's demise. Dark, hidden desires will not lurk in unseen corners to jump out when least expected. I will force them into the light and watch them shrivel, burn and cease to exist.
I will learn to love, to appreciate, to uplift.
To love unselfishly and genuinely wish for the other person's success.
To appreciate their beauty, their fire, their sparkle even more because I am lacking.
To uplift with sincere encouragements.
Today, I am free.
Competitive spirit. Petty rivalry. Be gone with you. Go away. Far, far away.
You shall not rule me with your dirty jealousies and slithering wishes of woe.
You are irrational and stupid and you bring nothing but niggling feelings of discontentment. I will purge myself, scrub my body, soul and mind of your filth. I will scrape off every part of that envious slime.
I will not harbour any cloaked hopes of the other's demise. Dark, hidden desires will not lurk in unseen corners to jump out when least expected. I will force them into the light and watch them shrivel, burn and cease to exist.
I will learn to love, to appreciate, to uplift.
To love unselfishly and genuinely wish for the other person's success.
To appreciate their beauty, their fire, their sparkle even more because I am lacking.
To uplift with sincere encouragements.
Today, I am free.
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