the weight of living

I just want to stay in bed perpetually wrapped up in blankets listening to melancholic music and staring blankly into empty space.

But I'm not sure that will make me feel better.

So onward I will go. Keeping myself busy. Not falling behind in life. Doing things and things and things to prove that I'm okay. And I am okay for the most part. Happy even. I do still get my usual bouts of bubbling joy.

But it's in the in-betweens that there's an enticing whisper to curl up and let life slide away...