To go or not to go? and where.

So,

I'm still dancing between Medicine at UNSW and Arts/Law/Commerce in Melbourne Uni or Monash. (IF I get into both). Honestly, both are equally desirable and repellent. Having to uproot here and pretty much rebuild a new life, it's a pretty scary, intimidating thought. 

Nevertheless, starting afresh in a new environment, around new people does hold its appeal. It would be a challenge. But a part of me craves for exactly that: the opportunity to test myself, to see how I would do if I was thrown into the deep end, without the stability and support that I've had all my life. I'm curious. Would I flourish, capable of standing on my own two feet, by my own strength? Or would I flounder, fall to pieces without my ever-present protective bubble?

Besides, other than family, I don't think I'd really be missed by anyone in Melbourne anyway. Of course I have friends here. But I feel as though my absence wouldn't make much of a difference at all. Sure my not being there would be noticed, but no more than that, I don't think. Ouch. Reality kinda stings. A lot. Ugh why am I being so depressing? I know, I know. It's terrible. To want to leave just to see who would care. Not to mention awfully selfish. Man I really need to reshuffle my priorities and values. And concentrate on studies.

I'll probably end up staying here anyway seeing as I'll have to get a ridiculously high ATAR to get into UNSW. So we'll probably never know how I'd go. Or perhaps we will. Idk. djopfkaokdpaojfsdgj.

I wouldn't mind going to Melbourne Uni. I can imagine enjoying the solitary train rides there on a weekly basis. Am I choosing universities and courses for the completely wrong reasons? Haha. Maybe. Maybee.

On verra.
Erica