I Don't Even.

Sigh.

There are so many things I just don't understand. I can't even begin to understand. Human beings are such complex creatures. I don't understand myself. Who I am, what I want, not even how I think sometimes. So obviously I'm not gonna get anywhere near understanding the rest of the human race.

How is it that some people can treat other people like rubbish? To be toyed with, used then thrown away at their own whim. Does it not occur to them that this fellow person feels? Feels pain, hurt and anger the same way they do.That this person might carry all of it with them for who knows how long, stifled and unable to find happiness because they were constantly weighed down by this black burden of awful. If they did, maybe they would think twice before flinging careless remarks, acting thoughtlessly.

On the other hand there are those who are just so utterly selfless. They give and give and give. Is their capacity to give endless? If so, how do they do it? Don't you run out of yourself to offer? How does one stop calculating, stop making sure one doesn't give one smidgen more than the other? Because that just isn't the way to live.

And yet, I want to stop contemplating all this, to stop trying to understand and just be. To just do whatever I feel like at the moment I feel like doing it. To take risks. To be more daring. To adventure into the unknown.

Because I feel like I ain't ever going to understand anyway.

Sigh,
Me.